Softening

Hello!

It’s been a long time. Mostly, I took the summer off to regather myself. And as we move from summer to fall, it feels like the perfect time to be here with you, sharing one of my learnings from the last few months.

I want to share about softening. This very sweet way of relaxing into what is. For me, it feels like an exhale. Like I am taking moments to release the fight or resistance or denial or anger, and just be with what is.

Here’s an everyday life example: I’m frustrated that the baby didn't sleep and I’m tired. I can feel the choice point - am I going to complain and be grumpy all day or am I not. I take a breath and say to myself, “yes, you are so tired. Sagey didn’t sleep.” And I just soften into this reality. I stop trying to make it different. In this moment, it just is.

There is so much going on in our world right now, and when I look at all of it head on, my fight or flight instinct kicks up. I get rigid and experience judgment. That makes sense to me. It’s about survival, it’s about pain, it’s about digging into “rightness.” And when I practice softening - even as simple as softening my gaze (literally) - I start to feel the ways that I perceive new realities coming into existence, ways of being that elicit hope, new possibilities of how I can contribute to the world I am praying so deeply to live into.

I like the word soften because it comes with a whole embodied experience. I know what soft feels like when I touch it. I know what soft feels like when I breathe into it. I know what soft feels like when I am really present with it.

This practice can be used across the whole spectrum… the small, annoying disturbances up to the most painful experiences. My invitation is to offer any of those sticking places inside you some relief by simply softening. Anywhere you feel that pull? I’d love to hear.