Why Group Spaces Feel So Hard (And Why They’re the Medicine)
You’re not broken for fearing group work. Visibility triggers the nervous system—and that’s exactly why sacred circles can heal it.
You’re Not Broken for Fearing Group Work
If the thought of being vulnerable in a group makes your skin crawl, your heart race, or your mind shut down—you are not broken.
This is not a personal failing.
It’s a protective pattern.
And it makes sense.
Because here's the truth:
Group spaces activate old wounds.
Visibility, attention, shared space—it all taps into deep survival programming.
Why Visibility Triggers the Nervous System
You don’t fear group work because you’re weak.
You fear it because your body remembers.
The “mean girl” archetype didn’t start in the high school cafeteria.
It started thousands of years ago, under patriarchy, under empire, under systemic conditioning that taught women:
To compete for safety
To distrust one another
To betray one another for scraps of power
To survive by being the one not under fire
We learned:
“If they’re looking at her, they’re not punishing me.”
“If I’m perfect, I’ll be safe.”
“If I lead, I have to hide my needs.”
This trauma is ancestral. Cultural. Inherited.
And it lives in your body.
Group Trauma Isn’t Just Yours
Group spaces have often not been safe:
Childhood bullying
School cliques
Exclusion from friend groups
Spiritual bypassing in group circles
Family dynamics where we were scapegoated or silenced
So of course we’re resistant.
Of course we shut down or go into fawn or freeze.
The fear of being seen (and judged or rejected) is real.
Especially for high-achieving women, eldest daughters, and those used to holding it all together.
But here’s the thing…
Group Work Is Also the Way Out
You cannot heal relational wounds in isolation.
You cannot heal visibility wounds by hiding.
You cannot reclaim your voice alone in a vacuum.
We heal in sacred relationship.
We heal in mirrors.
We heal when someone sees us at our most undone, and stays.
When you are real in a circle, you give others permission to be real too.
And something sacred begins to alchemize.
Together, you realize:
You’re not alone.
You’re not the problem.
You don’t have to do it all.
You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful.
Why Sacred Circles Work
A sacred circle is not a group coaching container where you “perform” vulnerability.
It’s a living, breathing field of devotion.
It’s where:
Power becomes shared
Listening becomes a ritual
Messiness becomes welcomed
Healing becomes exponential
Sacred circles help you unlearn hierarchy.
They remind you how to belong.
They bring softness to the places that have only ever known pressure.
If You’re Resisting, That’s Okay
Let’s name the fear:
Group spaces can feel threatening.
Especially if you’re used to being the leader.
Especially if you’re the one who’s usually “got it.”
Especially if you’ve survived systems that taught you to go it alone.
Your nervous system is doing what it was trained to do: protect you.
But protection is not the same as connection.
And true safety requires other humans.
We Need Each Other
If we want to create a more just, liberated world, we have to learn how to be with each other.
Not in perfectly curated containers
Not just one-on-one in safe little bubbles
But in messy, holy, real-deal sacred spaces where we show up undone
Because real change doesn’t happen in theory.
It happens in the body.
In the room.
In the field of us.
This is how we embody the world we say we want.
We gather.
We see each other.
We stay.
Final Words
Group work isn’t easy.
But it’s holy.
And if you’ve been craving real community, deep healing, and a place to be held in your full truth: don’t give up.
You are sacred enough to be held.
When you’re ready, I’ll be here.
And the circle will be, too.
Check out THE KEY (sacred collective work) and unarmor (prep work to support ourselves in group work) - all of it is life changing!